Kim Kardashian Has a Hole in Her Uterus and It’s Not Kanye’s Fault

I have never heard of C Magazine and neither have you. Let’s get to know them, shall we? They did an interview with everyone’s fav reality star, Kim Kardasahian. You know this will turn into an ass-kissing interview when they ask their first question: “You’re so multifaceted; if you could summarize your job title in one word, what would it be?” Oh gawd, how far up her ass can you stick your tongue, C Magazine? As far as it takes is their answer.

I would say “entrepreneur” if I had to say one word. When I’m traveling and they ask what my occupation is I never know what to say—I always switch it. Sometimes I’ll say perfumer, sometimes author. Sometimes I’ll just say [retail] sales.

Would you say porn star? Would you say whore? Would you say entre-porn-eur? Because I would say all these things too. I’m not even gonna list most of these answers, it’s a puff piece. The questions are pretty softball.

How do you find the time to manage all of your business ventures?

It sounds like you always stay focused on putting your family first, and then the rest works out.

How has your own show evolved?

You’ve really helped to shift the concept of a traditional blond and beachy California girl, and opened the door to create space for what that really means. Do you consider yourself a California girl?

Would you suggest young girls also sell their homemade sex videos to get famous?

What do you love more: your daughter or selfies?

Those last two I threw in there. They should’ve been asked.

There was one personal question that was pretty serious:

I remember when you told me you were gonna try for another one, and I was like, “Oh my God, already?” And then boom, you were pregnant…

It doesn’t seem like that to me, though. It was over a year of trying, and I had so many complications. I had this condition called placenta accreta. There were a couple of little operations to fix all that, so that created a little hole in my uterus, which I think made it really tough to get pregnant again. It was a long road. I would go to the doctor in Beverly Hills every day at five in the morning to get tested to see if I was ovulating. I was trying everything: I did acupuncture and got a nutritionist to eat healthier, thinking that was an issue.

Hole in the uterus. Damn. Can’t make fun of that. *pauses* Wait, yea I can. Watch your strokes, Kanye. Don’t wanna tear Kim a new one.

Is that how uteri work? I have no idea because I’ve never seen a girl naked. Plus, I never took biology because I’m not into science. God teaches me everything I know.