Your Penis Might Shrug Seeing Ruby Rose in a Bikini

Ruby Rose looks really hot in Orange is the New Black. Her face, eyes, presence, they add up. But in a bikini, it’s like, meh, okay. She showed up in Ibiza which, evidently, is the place to be now. Maybe it’s the multi-colored shorts. Why is she wearing them? She must be hiding something. Does she have eczema on the back of her legs? Big, splotchy marks of peeling skin. We think celebs are perfect, but there must be a ton with eczema or hemorrhoids. Maybe Ruby Rose has hemorrhoids. Someone find out.

And FYI: Ruby Rose DJs. I’m still on the fence figuring out if she’s a press play DJ like Paris Hilton. She showed up in Italy and I see some button switching and jumping around.

The evidence is inconclusive on this one.

She’s loved enough that panties get thrown onstage at her.

Buuut, maybe some guy threw them at her. Because you know, how she claims gender neutrality and all that, maybe her fans are the same.

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8 years ago

Seen better.