Please Let Rapper Slim Jesus Be Performance Art. I’d Be Sad If It Wasn’t

Look at what rap music hath wrought. Fresh-faced, innocent lads rapping about shooting holes in your back. White kids rapping about the street life they’ve never seen.

Slim Jesus is getting some shout-outs for his recent song, “Drill Time”. A song that features lyrics like,

Got a couple shooters and they ride with me
And they down to shoot when it’s drill time
Pull up and we get to drumming
Let thirty shots out that Glock nine

Never judge a book by its cover, but this Slim Jesus looks like he recently discovered that rap is, like, really cool. And that’s kinda what happened.

This 18-year old Ohio kid started rapping a couple of months ago. Naturally, he started rapping about glocks, weed and “big ass bands”. You know, stuff he knows a lot about, I’m sure. Complex caught up with him in between his gangbanging and swim lessons at the rec pool.

Slim Jesus talked to us about the early stages of his rap career and revealed that “Drill Time” is the first song he’s had take off. “It got like 4,000 in one day and that was crazy to me already, and now it has like hundreds of hundreds of thousands.”

As far as his name, he said his friends started calling him Swag Jesus and over time it transformed to Slim Jesus. “Yeah, and we flipped it and made it Slim, for obvious reasons, I’m skinny as hell. But uh, yeah I just kind of stuck with it. It made people mad for shock value. The name worked.”

Let’s go back to the lyrics, shall we?

Keep a bird tucked on my right side, my .380 or my FN
And if I catch you lacking, better pray to God that my s**t jam
But if it don’t, I’mma take you out like a fuckin’ date
Put a hole in your fuckin’ back if I catch you talkin’ to the fuckin’ Jakes
Ain’t afraid to catch a body and skip out from state to state
And if there’s a witness, I’mma kill ’em too and I’mma beat the case

Here’s the video:

So gangsta. It looks like Slim Jesus and his crew rented those gold chains and those fake, diamond earrings Slim’s wearing. And those “Glocks”. Yea, they’re fake according to the disclaimer. Still, Slim would’ve looked more gangsta holding Lazer Tag guns.

This tweet got it about right:

Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle decided he was about that action and turned into drill rapper Slim Jesus pic.twitter.com/YgRh3NJ5io

— JESTER AT WORK (@GETTIIINGCLOSER) September 8, 2015

We need Froggy Fresh to jump back in the game with another rap video. Rescue everyone from Slim Jesus and show the world how YouTube rap stars do it.