Watch Out Ladies, This Lothario Will Crawl Under Tables to Sniff Yer Feet

What, you couldn’t just ask for a date? Homer over here gets off on stinky, sweaty feet. I’m not one to judge anyone’s fetishes or interests. Yet, how slimy feet fermenting in sneakers all day could possibly turn someone one, I’ll never understand.

At Florida International University, students reported someone crawling under library tables and sniffing women’s feet. Miami New Times reports:

The incident in question — which, again, is neither humorous nor insignificant — is the fact that a suspected serial foot fetishist has been hiding under tables at the school’s Green Library and lying in wait until female students sit down so he can smell their feet.

NBC Miami also added:

Students were skeeved to hear that a man has been underneath tables, smelling the feet of unsuspecting women. No one was injured in the one incident, but some ladies said they’re going to make sure to look down when they’re studying in the library.

Okay, that sounds really funny for some reason. Always having to look underneath a library table because a perv may be sniffing away.

Someone was able to photograph the guy in the act.

Look at that look on his face. Not an ounce of surprise or remorse. Even more impressive, our champ here made his getaway on a scooter.

Time to vamoose, scooter don’t fail me now! *scooter tops out at hair-flipping 10mph*

Well, hold onto your clogs because they caught this paw prowler. Again, NBC Miami’s on the case.

Eddy Juan, 52, was taken into custody on Tuesday afternoon in the area of Southwest 59th Street and Southwest 97th Court in Miami-Dade…

On Tuesday, investigators said a subject matching Juan’s description was spotted riding a scooter in the area of 51st Street and Southwest 104th Avenue…

Officers attempted a traffic stop, but Juan attempted to flee and subsequently crashed…

Sounds like a cartoon. Not too funny though is Juan’s past history.

Records show Juan is a registered sex offender. He has a rap sheet dating back to 1992. His previous run-ins with the law includes charges of lewd and lascivious behavior on a child and indecent exposure.

Gross. Hold on. *checks story* Yup, FLORIDA MAN! Always Florida Man.

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