ESC

Beautiful Rare Moustached Bird Murdered By Evil Scientists

The first photographs ever taken of the elusive male moustached kingfisher were just released by the American Museum of Natural History. They show a vibrant adult bird who probably had a birdwife, little birdkids, and many dreams for the birdfuture.

Now even more elusive elusive

Paul Sweet, collection manager for the museum’s Department of Ornithology, told Audubon that after beholding this chillin’ bird, they decided the only way to learn more about it was to make it an ex-parrot. According to their studies, the bird population could handle this loss. But what about me, science? Can I handle the loss?

No. And I’m not the only one. Their decision is coming under fire. Other marginally less evil scientists, such as Marc Bekoff, professor emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at the University of Colorado, are pissed. He said:

“Killing ‘in the name of conservation’ or ‘in the name of education’ or ‘in the name of whatever’ simply needs to stop…Even if this handsome male were a member of a common species, there was no reason to kill him. It sickens me that this practice continues and I hope more people will work hard to put an end to it right now, before more fascinating animals are killed.”

And honestly, this endangered bird population, estimated at only 250-1000, which is trying to hide from humans and our death fetish in the remote moss jungle highlands of Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands, doesn’t really sound like it can handle it either. You think that killing animals in the name of their conservation and our understanding makes sense? Hell no. It looks like Mac from Always Sunny was right: “Science is a liar sometimes.”

(Images courtesy of Audobon, NTDWA)

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