Florida Man Tries to Frame Imaginary Dog for His Crimes

Just before crashing his car into a house, allegedly high-as-balls Florida resident Reliford Cooper reportedly told the officer arresting him for DUI that he wasn’t behind the wheel of the car. His dog was the driver.

Florida, I’m cutting you off. You’ve had enough.

After being pulled over, the criminal genius known as Reliford Cooper, made a daring escape by hitting two ditches, driving into a house, and then taking off on foot. This thrilling chase ended with a K9 tracking him to a church. Cooper thought he could hide in the bathroom of a church full of Southerners itching to lay down some fire and brimstone on a sinner, and it would just be cool.

Brilliant.

The congregation forced him out Exorcism of Emily Rose style, and as he was being caught, our intrepid hero had some choice words for the police:

“Who was chasing me? You’re slow as s**t.”

Oh! Burn!

Relish Cups was charged and arrested with DUI, aggravated fleeing, and leaving the scene of an accident. Also, in a shocking twist, no dog was found anywhere near the scene.

(Image courtesy of YouTube)