What Men Want to Hear in Bed: Reddit Dishes on Talking Dirty

On Monday, the men of Reddit got real on a thread about what they like women to say to them in bed. Well, some of them got real. Some of them, Redditor Isaiahmazing, not to name names, laid down erotic catnip like:

“Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli”

If you ask me he should have gone with, “Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?”

Hot.  

Some of these guys were not even in the vicinity of screwing around. ScottWalker2016 just flat out lays it down:

“I like being called daddy, no throwaway. I’m not ashamed.”

But have you earned your daddy stripes, sir? I don’t care how fast you whip off that K-mart belt from the belt loops of those pants that don’t even fit you, it’s not slapping this ass.

On the other hand, you’ve got redditors like eDgAR, who like a little different kind of power dynamic.

“Right after finishing having sex with an ex-girlfriend, I was about to go to sleep and she gets on top of me and says, “Oh, no you don’t, I’m not done with you yet.” It was such a major turn on it was easy to go again even though I was tired.”

Then there’s AberHammer87, who gets in touch with his inner Jason Derulo, because sometimes the booty really don’t need explaining.

“I was dating this Brazilian girl who would switch from English to portuguese when she was about to get off. So hot. Couldn’t understand a word, didn’t care.”

If you’ve think you’ve heard it all, redditor Humpt has some news for you. His kink is somewhere between unthinkably mundane and an art house film. I feel like I could catch this kink at the MoMA.

“One time me and my girlfriend just talked the entire time. Like we just had a normal conversation except in the middle of sex. 10/10 would do again.”

Out of all of these, I have to take my hat off to MountainKing, who honestly seems way too sweet to be on Reddit. Go find that Arkenstone or something. You don’t need this filth, you precious cinnamon roll. What does he like to hear from his partner?

“How much they’re enjoying it. The thing that excites me the most is knowing that my partner is enjoying themself.”

Thanks Reddit. I guess.

(H/T Reddit)