Rihanna Left Naked and Alone in a 1970s Eastern Bloc Hotel Room

Where’s Rihanna? She put out an album per year from 2009-2013 and seven albums in 10 years. It’s been three years since her last album, Unapologetic. That’s an eternity in YouTube years. Even more so when you consider all the pop artists filling the void. Seems like she wants to make this next album perfect which is why it’s been so delayed.

Of course, she doesn’t want us to forget about her so she stripped naked and got Annie Leibovitz to photograph her in a deserted Eastern Bloc hotel room. This room looks like dreams lost.

Rihanna talked about meaningless sex and Chris Brown, among other topics.

On meaningless, fun sex:

“If I wanted to I would completely do that,” she says. “I am going to do what makes me feel happy, what I feel like doing. But that would be empty for me; that to me is a hollow move. I would wake up the next day feeling like s**t.

She has too much respect to be a notch in someone’s bedpost:

“That’s why I haven’t been having sex or even really seeing anybody,” she says, “because I don’t want to wake up the next day feeling guilty. I mean I get horny, I’m human, I’m a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do—just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow? He has a great story and I’m like … what am I doing? I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.”

On Chris Brown:

“I was that girl,” she says, “that girl who felt that as much pain as this relationship is, maybe some people are built stronger than others. Maybe I’m one of those people built to handle s**t like this. Maybe I’m the person who’s almost the guardian angel to this person, to be there when they’re not strong enough, when they’re not understanding the world, when they just need someone to encourage them in a positive way and say the right thing.”

Whether or not she cares about him:

“I don’t hate him. I will care about him until the day I die. We’re not friends, but it’s not like we’re enemies. We don’t have much of a relationship now.”

On Rachel Dolezal, fake NAACP impostor:

“I think she was a bit of a hero, because she kind of flipped on society a little bit. Is it such a horrible thing that she pretended to be black? Black is a great thing, and I think she legit changed people’s perspective a bit and woke people up.”

Sometimes, she’d rather just watch tv:

“Honestly, I’ve been thinking lately about how boring I am,” she says. “When I do get time to myself, I watch TV.” Now we’re off and running, both of us mourning the end of Breaking Bad. She loves Bates Motel and forensics shows. What about NCIS and CSI? “I used to watch them,” she says, “until I found The First 48 [homicide detectives, cold-blooded murders at convenience stores] and Snapped [true stories of women who lost control and committed murder]. Those are things that actually happened in real life,” she says. “I’m stuck on the fact that these things actually happened. All those other things are just made-up stories.”

Do you understand your pop star better now? Or were you still staring at her nekkid butt? I know my answer.

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris
Prince Phillip Anon Harris
8 years ago

Rihanna, If you’re ever in Kumasi, Ghana, I’ll be at some chop bar.