Study Says Psychopaths Take Their Coffee Black

A new study, published in the journal Appetite, reveals a correlation between bitter taste preferences and psychopathic tendencies. Researchers at Innsbruck University in Austria surveyed 500 women and men. The human lab rats were shown a list of food and drink items categorized as bitter, salty, sweet, and sour. They then rated them on a six point scale.

I would like to ask why Innsbruck University has set out to attack me personally? Just because I like my coffee black doesn’t mean I like my human hearts served rare on a bed of wilted kale after being marinated overnight in yogurt and a blend of secret spices.

Or does it? 

After this, participants filled out four personality questionnaires which measured their aggression levels and assessed personality traits of Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. They also answered a series of questions relating to the “Big 5” personality traits: openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, and neuroticism. Finally, the lab rats completed the “Comprehensive Assessment of Sadistic Tendencies,” which does not at all sound like a typical Friday night for me.

The results of the study showed that apparently bitter taste preferences are:

“Positively associated with malevolent personality traits, with the most robust relation to everyday sadism and psychopathy.”

I have never done anything wrong. In my life. Shut up Innsbruck University! You goddamn nerds. You don’t know me.

(Image courtesy of Torange)

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