ESC

Target Store Accidentally Blasts Porn Audio

Customers shopping at a Campbell, California Target were shocked and appalled when porn audio randomly started to blare over the store’s loudspeakers. Gina Young, a woman who was shopping with her two young sons, filmed footage of the Target asspocalypse and posted it on her Facebook. In the clip, which is kinda like Cloverfield if the monster was getting gang banged and a confused soccer mom was narrating, you really get to appreciate the ambience.

According the New York Post, Target is investigating, but not telling anybody anything. Rude, Target.

If you thought we lived in the modern world and people know that sex is real, have I got news for you. A kind of weirdly adorable customer told KCBS:

“I felt violated, and my body said wait a minute, this ain’t right. So I was uneasy.”

Awwww.  Precious.

People were also apparently running around and screaming, entirely unable to appreciate the absurdity of the situation. People will take any excuse to attack retail workers, and the veneer of polite society shattered completely in the face of the California Target asspocalypse.

Interestingly, it looks like the asspocalypse might be going on tour. The same thing happened in another California Target in July. Do we have a serial prankster on our hands? I hope so. It looks like Tyler Durden is real. I hope he comes to a Target near me soon.

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