Charlie Sheen Reveals His HIV-Positive Diagnosis to Avoid Shakedowns

So, yea, Charlie Sheen is HIV-positive. If you haven’t heard this news yet, please reintegrate yourself with modern society. Sheen went on the Today show and revealed a shocking secret! The secret is that he’s got the HIV, what’s not so secret is that Hollywood knew about this for years.

That Sony hack from 2014 revealed an e-mail discussing his diagnosis and his likely inability to finish filming Anger Management at the time.

 In a leaked 2014 email, chairman of Sony Pictures Television Steve Mosko wrote of Sheen, “it’s hard to be a drug addict and be HIV positive and do 40 eps a year.”

What? No, look at Magic Johnson. Dude runs all his movie theaters and TGIFs and he’s had HIV foreeeever. Being a CEO is way harder than doing 40 episodes a year. Just my opinion.

Sheen would’ve kept this secret going if it weren’t for those pesky threats of lawsuits and shakedowns for money.

He also claimed that a lot of people have demanded money to stay silent about his diagnosis. “I have paid those people—not that many, but enough to where it has depleted the future.” Asked how many people he has paid, Sheen said, “I don’t want to guess wrong, but enough to bring it into the millions. What people forget is that’s money they’re taking from my children. You know? They think it’s just me. But I’ve got five kids and a granddaughter, you know?”

Regarding the people who took advantage of him, Sheen said, “For some reason I trusted them. They were deep in my inner circle, and I thought they could be helpful.” Instead, he said, “My trust turned to their treason.”

“My trust turned to their treason.” That sounds like an emo band’s album title. Anyway, as long as this guy informs his sexual partners, what’s the big deal? Not like he’s gonna die from HIV.

“It means likely you can have a normal lifespan and have a similar life to someone who does not have HIV,” says Dr. Ray Martins, chief medical officer at Whitman-Walker Health in Washington

It’s the AIDS that he’s gotta watch out for. Luckily he’s rich and can fight off this disease with dem Benjamins. Makin’ it rain! On that HIV.

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