For the First Time, Nick Cannon Won Out Over Chris Brown

I’ve been clapping a lot this week. There was a fly in my bedroom and the only logical way to capture it was chase it around the room, hoping to squish it, each time resulting in more validation of my elementary gym school teacher’s note that I lack basic hand-eye-coordination skills. I saw the latest Bryan Cranston masterpiece, Trumbo, on the big screen to which the entire theatre was brought to ovation. And my most favorite reason to clap this week, and it’s only Wednesday, as per Jezebel, ‘Chris Brown Removed As Daily Show Guest After Staff Objections.’

Chris Brown was one of my first celebrity crushes as a kid, he came before David Duchovny, but well after Hugh Laurie and Sam Elliot. And now that I think about it… one of two age appropriate crushes in my life. Both of these age appropriate crushes have left me disappointed in a former self and praying for better sensibility when falling for hypothetical versions of men I will never meet.

The staff of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah had very mixed feelings about allowing Chris Brown on the show this past Tuesday, and it appears the anti-Chris Brown camp won because Nick Cannon appeared in his absence. The Daily Show isn’t the only event that Chris Brown will have to cross off his calendar. Yesterday, Australia and New Zealand cancelled Brown’s upcoming tourWhat on earth could have prompted this kind of controversy? Why can’t an R&B star appear on the elitist Daily Show? Why do two whole countries want nothing to do with the man?

I’m here to remind you, as everyone seems to have forgotten, six years ago, Chris Brown did this to Rihanna following a dispute over his car keys. Since then, Chris hasn’t shown much change in his ways. Since his domestic violence charges, he has found himself the father of a daughter and continued to reinforce the systemic environment of misogyny she will have to fight against in her life.

Chris Brown has done what every mature adult living in the 2010s is expected to do. He’s thrown multiple destructive tantrums. When upset with the mother of his child, he has turned to Twitter to subtweet and continue to refer to women by derogatory slang names.

I’m assuming Chris Brown has read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal and has founded criticism with the idea as he suggests that women are using their children as meal tickets. What else are we expected to do? I just had a baby last week because I was hungry, but I don’t want to impose on my government to feed me. Babies are, by definition, meal tickets.

However, The Daily Show may have just sabotaged its brand of calling out the ludicrous and controversial. Host Trevor Noah, a South-African born comedian, has a very personal connection to domestic violence. Noah’s stepfather abused his mother for years and aimed to hurt Noah before his migration to the United States in pursuit of comedy. Hhas not forgotten Chris Brown’s past ‘mistakes.’

Slipping and dropping your coffee all over your coat first thing in the morning is a mistake. Your tub overflowing is a mistake. Spilling soy sauce in your bed is a mistake. Beating up your girlfriend is not a mistake.

Having such an intimate understanding of domestic violence, Daily Beast sources report that,

Brown’s interview booking has become a cause for concern around the office. But while many staffers disapprove of the booking decision, host Trevor Noah allegedly hopes to use the interview to bring light to domestic abuse issues.

And as much as I hate to see Chris Brown’s face, I’d watch on repeat his face upon being asked, “What’s it like to feel your girlfriend’s face break under your ringed fingers?”

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