Jennifer Lawrence: ‘Drunk and Disappointed Should Be the Title of My Memoir!’

Love her or hate her, Jennifer Lawrence has the ‘relatable girl’ routine down pat. She’s branded it and stood to make even more money with every so-called ill timed trip up some stairs in a couture gown.

If J. Law knows anything, it’s that real life isn’t exactly as it appears on the screen. And while she has yet to appear in a star-studded rendition of what the holidays are supposed to be like a là Garry Marshall’s New Years Eve… she is no stranger to how the real people actually feel at the start of the new year.

It’s not the holiday where some stranger is going to come into your life, kiss you as the clock strikes midnight and superglue all your parts back together to somehow make your depressive episodes a sign of yesteryear. It’s not the holiday where your heels will magically stop hurting as your frozen feet traipse across the uneven cement of your dingy city. It’s not the holiday where everything becomes something it’s not. Because that’s the movies.

Yet every year, there’s a scurry to find the best outfit to match the plans that you don’t yet have. Yet every year, the New Year is renewed with possibility. And we’re set up for the 365 day build up between parades and seasonally appropriate alcoholism to be hung out to dry. We’re set up to feel exactly as we have all year at 11:59, but still hopelessly expecting to feel somehow different at 12:00.

On The Graham Norton Show, J. Law shows just how much she gets it:

I’ve never had a good one. Everyone’s chasing a good time and it’s always a disappointment. I plan on doing nothing and then if something lands in my lap…but I always end up drunk and disappointed.

Same. She adds:

When I get stressed and exhausted I just vomit.

Fewer times have I thrown up from the contents of my stomach than I have the contents of my brain. Words. Panic. Psychosomatic pregnancy. And J.Law gets it, and she relates again. So at least I have that in common with an Academy Award-winning actress and model.

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