ESC

Kid Receives Wooden PS4 Replica Complete With Its Very Own Cock and Balls Graffiti

Long before I was born, my parents were aching for a child to traumatize. Their niece seemed to be a viable option. I mean, why else do you allow your siblings the right to procreate if not to produce children for your personal entertainment? One very special holiday season, my mother ‘stole’ every one of my cousin’s presents in the middle of the night, unwrapped the boxes, removed their contents, filled each individual box (the box, of course, displaying the exact gift she had asked for) with the appropriate amount of coal and re-wrap expertly to leave my cousin none the wiser until the box was actually opened.

Sometimes, shitheads buy expensive products and ‘return them’ following the same replacement tactics as my very bored father. Most of the time the store does not check the box for returns. Most of the time the store ‘re-sells’ the ‘product’ to another customer and ruins christmas. Sometimes that ‘product’ is a slab of wood with crudely drawn cock and balls on it. Was it worth $399?

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