Pigtailed Genius Girl Gives 10 Reasons To Have Sex with Your Dog

You got out of bed today to learn more reasons why you shouldn’t have. On today’s episode of MOLESTING SENTIENT BEINGS WHO CAN’T SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES we have: 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex With Dogs. *panic vomit*

With a smile on her face and a case to plead: I introduce you to the Pig-Tailed Genius who not just fucks her dog, but wants to tell the entire Internet about it.

Reason No. 1: Women in history have practiced it

Women in history have practiced foot binding. Women in history have also been concubines. Women in history have raped and tortured people. Historical pattern does not give license to practice.

Reason No. 2: Dogs’ tongues can get into very hard to reach places and ‘it can be ahhh-mazing’

So can your fingers. So can a vibrator. So can the consenting adult you met on the internet.

Reason No. 3: It is impossible for a dog to get a human pregnant

Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Contraception is available for child-fearing humans such as you–and myself–and if taken as directed, can prevent pregnancy. Not good enough? Abstinence is 100% effective at keeping the child-fearers and dog fuckers at peace with their empty wombs.

See also: Fingers don’t get you pregnant. Your vibrator doesn’t get you pregnant. Masturbation does not get you pregnant.

Reason No. 4: You cannot get an STD

SEE modern medicine. In this world, there is a great thing called contraception, under the large umbrella of contraception, we have CONDOMS. When there is question about transmission of disease, it is always responsible to opt for a condom.

See also: Your fingers don’t have an STD. Your vibrator won’t give you an STD. Masturbation does not give you STDs.

Reason No. 5: It has been around since the beginning of time

Pig-tailed genius cites Grecian and Roman examples for historical reference of her right to f**k her dog. History has shown very kind to all kinds of people especially in reference to sexuality, Greeks and Romans in particular. Similar to today, in ancient Rome and Greece, a man or woman could rape any man or woman and get away with it. Miss Pigtailed Genius please share your thoughts on the importance of raping and not raping.

Reason No. 6: It is legal in some countries and states

From your favorite, not sure if that’s true or not, list of THE WEIRDEST LAW IN EVERY STATE IN AMERICA:

In South Carolina:

Anyone under the age of 18 is forbidden from using a pinball machine, because it’s a very slippery slope from playing pinball to giving your fish alcohol.

In Texas:

If you’re standing up, you’re only legally allowed to take three sips of beer. Which means if you’re chugging, you better sit your ass down.

In Iowa:

Boxes used to package hops are supposed to be exactly 36in. long, so if you’re planning to pack that stuff in a 37in. box, get the hell out of Iowa.

Legal or illegal doesn’t always properly indicate what is right or wrong. In some countries, you can kill a person and sell their organs for profit. In some countries you can traffic hundreds of thousands of Pigtailed Genius girls, but does that mean it’s okay?

People have been doing it since the beginning of time though!!!!!!!!!

Reason No. 7: Some people like to think of it as a kink

Some people like to think of murder as a kink. Just Google. You’ll find yourself on the message board validating your cruel intentions.

It’s 2015: the word of the year to learn, memorize and repeat–consent.

Reason No. 8: It’s convenient — ‘I mean the dog is right there’

We can go through this again. So are your fingers. So is your vibrator. With the beauty and horror of the internet, you can call that consenting adult you met on the internet and as quick as you swipe right, that consenting adult too can be ‘right there.’

Reason No. 9: They don’t nag or complain

Again, neither do your fingers. Neither does your vibrator. Let’s switch it up this time, neither does the shower head. Inanimate objects can do so much for you and you don’t have to psychologically damage or abuse anyone but yourself.

Reason No. 10: They are easy to train

Know your body. Train yourself. Get yourself off.

But with the magic words, consent and communication, any adult human can learn how to get you off too, Pig tailed Genius–I feel enlightened by your stupor.

She ends the video, still smiling, her dog about to be shozz deep in her abhorrent vagina. At least it wasn’t a tutorial.

(H/T Dude Comedy)

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris
Prince Phillip Anon Harris
7 years ago

Ok! That was interesting. But I admit, I’m sexually deprived and voyeuristically perverted.

Steve Wolf
Steve Wolf
7 years ago

The entire premise of this….rant for lack of a better term….about this person sharing her personal feelings about this subject is based upon NOTHING but ignorance about dogs and how they think. They indeed CAN “speak for themselves”. It is called body language. ALL mammals use it when it comes to “consenting” to sexual activity. When was the last time the author of this article “consented” to sex with their partner by asking sweetly, “So dear….would you agree to have sex with me?” Ridiculous….no? Of course sex between humans rarely (if ever) begins that way. It begins with touching and… Read more »

6 years ago
Reply to  Steve Wolf

While I see where you’re coming from and agree on some level I think the question is more about “Is it right?”. You mention about body language, the dog obviously enjoying the sexual activity etc but lets use the above in a different situation. If you worked in an office which employed a young lady with down syndrome. Suffers of down syndrome are known to have an extremely high sex and urges yet can not fully process these feelings and thoughts. One day she came onto you..Would it be right to sleep with her? Yes, she is giving you the… Read more »

Steve Wolf
Steve Wolf
6 years ago

Excuse me Jake if I come across as harsh in this reply because I applaud you for at least THINKING about this subject with an open mind. But the example that you cite (a mentally challenged person having sex with another who see that mental deficit as a way to “take advantage”) is a CLASSIC “straw-man argument”. Another common fallacious argument is when (UHG!) people compare a dog to a child who is NOT mature in mind, though who might be physically. Those are NOT valid comparisons when arguing against an ADULT human having sex with an ADULT animal (dog).… Read more »

7 months ago

I totally agree with your findings and personal experiences on the subject. I am sure that many people both male and female have become agreeable with your comments. I for one agree with your findings and support your views. Would like to meet you sometime. Take care.