ESC

Watch and Learn: Woman Stabbed While at Art Show, People Mistake Her for an Exhibit

What do you get when you throw a bunch of overeducated pretentious millennials into Art Basel Miami Beach for a weekend performance art exhibition?

A. Get too drunk and pass out on the bathroom floor.

B. Run into every one you’re expressly trying to avoid.

C. Overhear an abstract dissection of what the piece really says about ‘America’s cultural and racial divide’.

D. A woman wielding an X-ACTO knife stabs another woman while every attendee rewrites the textbook on the ‘bystander effect’.

Answer: All of the above

Woman A stabbed Woman B near artist Naomi Fisher’s “The Swamp of Sagittarius.” Of the incident, the Miami Herald reports:

A guy walked up to me and said, ‘I thought I saw a performance, and I thought it was fake blood, but it was real blood.’

Woman A stabbed Woman B and no one did anything but watch. Shia LaBeouf was raped by a woman at his #IAMSORRY installation and no one did anything but watch. Woman B had an X-ACTO knife sticking out of throat and still no one did anything but watch. The bumbling, brilliant art-goers watched often and closely:

Some patrons thought the stabbing was a performance art presentation. Others believed the police tape cordoning off an area of the convention center was part of an art installation.

Life imitates art and it’s all dumb as fuck important–we’ll learn from these moments. When someone appears to be bleeding in front of you… maybe offer a band-aid? Maybe blink?

All the years and dollars have been expressly dedicated to the preparation for these moments.

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris

Wtf!

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