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With a Career in Porn and a Million Dollars, Miss Colombia Could Have An Even Bigger Crown

Things are looking up for Miss Colombia Ariadna Gutierrez after Steve Harvey’s monstrous f**k-up in naming her the new Miss Universe when he really meant to name Miss Philippines.

In place of the tacky crown that rested on Gutierrez’s head for a brief moment, porn king, Steve Hirsch has offered her the fastest track to ultra-fame known to man and woman. It’s obvious what her next step should be, isn’t it? It’s every girl’s little dream. You know what it is, right?

Obviously, Ariadna Gutierrez needs her very own sex tape, but that’s not all …. Kirsch wants to offer her a porn career. He wrote to her in a million dollar letter:

You will pick your partners, the type of sex you want to have and how many movies you ultimately appear in.

How gracious. Giving a woman a choice. How noble. Applaud the male feminist.

Also, because a girl could only possibly want a crown, he sweetens the pot with an offer to:

commission the making of the first Vivid Girl Crown for you and we believe it will be grander than anything Miss Philippines will ever wear.

Pitting women against each other. A classic business tactic.

Whichever path she takes next, good for her. If it’s this one, avoid James Deen.

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AussieDan
AussieDan
8 years ago

At the top of the page we have an article dripping with sarcasm about how wrong it is to offer a woman the chance to appear in porn, at the bottom we have a woman in so little clothing it’s essentially porn… I’m pretty sure the writer in this piece is confused about 1) the difference between sexual empowerment and objectification 2) their target audience/demographic that comes to a site like this…

Prince Phillip Anon Harris
Prince Phillip Anon Harris
8 years ago

Uh! No!