Three Ways to Avoid Crappy People

There’s a reason I don’t leave my house… I fucking hate people. They’re fine in the abstract. We all have a right to life. Some of us can create some awesome art, but to share air and personal space with another person, 9 times out of 10, it’s disappointing.

Because the Internet is the widest source of validation known to humanity right now, of course people understand that on the off chance I do leave my house, I’m looking for #ExtremeWaysToAvoidPeople. I usually opt for the traditional resting bitch face, headphones, avoid eye contact or engage palpable disinterest, and 98% of the time, it really does work. But like condoms… sometimes there’s a foil in the plan.

Naturally with Twitter as a source of inspiration, I will take a page out of this wondrous book.

Option A: Channel animal instinct

Option B: Go incognito

Option C: Be the worst

But overall, the best possible avoidance tactic: Stay away and on the off chance a Jehovah’s witness finds you, ignore ignore ignore.

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