Guy Horrifies Customers by Pooing on a Starbucks Floor. Sensitive Bowels are Not a Crime!

You know how you drink a latte. Then, you get a grumbling in your stomach and a really bad urge to defecate? You rush to the bathroom, yank down your drawers and take the nastiest dump ever. So nasty you forget to check the seat for other people’s piss. Yea, THAT nasty.

Well, this dude does NOT know the joy of shitting in a Starbucks bathroom. He does, however, know the joy of shitting OUTSIDE a Starbucks bathroom in front of horrified customers. The random shitter has his sweatpants halfway down his thighs and unleashes a healthy, green squirt of plasma colon juice on a pristine floor. Hey, I just mopped that!!!

The lady filming this video asks someone to call 911. Hello, overkill. 911 is for emergencies. A few drops of diarrhea in Starbucks is an inconvenience. The dude left a puddle smaller than most coffee spills.

Someone calls the pooper “mentally ill.” The guy responded that he wasn’t mentally ill and that he was going through heroin detox.

I prefer my own theory. This was an undercover operative sent from Dunkin’ Donuts to f**k up some Starbucks-lovin’ customers’ day.

(H/T BroBible)

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