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Good News Peasants! Gwyneth Paltrow’s Morning Smoothie Recipe Only Costs $200+ to Make!

I’m gonna fucking fight Gwyneth Paltrow so hard her lichen-enriched rich person blood stings my street urchin eyes.

She released her fave morning smoothie recipe on her lifestyle site, Goop, and just look at the ingredient list.

Almond Breeze almond milk $2.15 (£1.50)
Meridian Almond Butter $5.30 (£3.69) Express supplements
Coconut Oil $5.74 (£4) Tesco
Vanilla mushroom protein powder $35 (£24.38) Moon Juice
Maca $25 (£17.42) Moon Juice
Ashwagandha $17 (£11) Moon Juice
Ho shou wu $18 (£12.54) Moon Juice
Cordyceps $35 (£24.38) Moon Juice
Moon Dust -various $55-$65 (£38-£45)
Himalayan sea salt $4.40 (£3) Tesco
Vanilla Powder $8.30 (£5.79) Ocado

Why the fuck do half the ingredients come from outer space? Or fake come from outer space?

According to her website, Paltrow has one of her serfs whip one of these easy smoothies up for her every morning “whether she’s detoxing or not.”

The base ingredients alone will run you minimum $210-$220.

This bitch drinks a monthly student loan payment if you’re on the poor person plan every morning.

Fuck you, Gwyneth Paltrow.

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