ESC

It’s Not Gay If You Don’t Shake Hands With the Guy Who Pissed in Your Cereal

Yo, so this video of an employee pissing into a conveyor belt full of Rice Krispies was just confirmed to be real by Kellogg’s. I, for one, am digging these Office Space vibes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1pHHpk-6tM

After this 2014 incident, the pissy Rice Krispies were boxed up and sold to consumers just like me and you, who didn’t know we were that kinky. If you think this isn’t real, check out this official statement by Kellogg’s.

Kellogg takes this situation very seriously and we were shocked and deeply disappointed by this video that we learned of. We immediately alerted law enforcement authorities and regulators. A criminal investigation is underway as well as a thorough internal investigation.

Our investigation revealed that the video was recorded at our Memphis, TN facility, in 2014. Products that could have been potentially affected were Rice Krispies Treats, Rice Krispies Treats cereal and puffed rice cake products, all of which would be past expiration date.

Food quality is of the utmost importance to Kellogg Company. We are outraged by this completely unacceptable situation, and we will work closely with authorities to prosecute to the full extent of the law.

I know the FDA lets companies put whatever they want in food, but damn Kellogg’s. Damn. That’s not how you snap crackle pop.

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris

Uh! At a Gay Bar, that is extreme Gay. Somebody’s got a secret lover boy.

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