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Only Thing That Got Hitler Off More Than Killing People Was Having His Lover Shit on His Chest

In a now released World War II era intelligence report, the public is now a whole lot more aware of who Hitler was. Know thine enemy. Know thine enemy so well that you fear their insidious bedroom fetishes. He didn’t like feet. He didn’t have a secret sex closet of his favorite Jewish prisoners. No, he didn’t like to use food products as lubricant. What brought our boy Hitler to climax though was the very thing that we normals try to keep as far away from sex as possible.

Not getting it yet? Hitler, the largest continental occupier of European land of the 20th century, loved to be pooped on. This man didn’t delicately usher his woman into the far bathroom down the hall, count the seconds of her inevitable bowel movement and hope to never think about it again…. no, he was kind enough to say hey, lady.. do that right here. 

The report, commissioned by the ally spy forces and crafted by Dr. Walter C Langer to reveal not only Hilter’s passion of defecation, he also had a thing for being kicked around during coitus. One woman (like many of Adolf’s flings), German movie star Renate Müller, had so much fun with Hitler that she later killed herself.

Hey, man… if this could have kept him from killing 12 million people, I would have hoped he had done so with more consenting individuals. But because it didn’t….. ewwwwwwww.

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris

Just like Moses was an Egyptian Pharaoh. It never happened! Moses wasn’t born until after the Ancient Egyptians migrated into India, we are now called Bengal. And what Jewish people idiotically call our gods, were kick ass weapons.

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