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Close Your Fucking Eyes, Ted Cruz Look-A-Like Is About To Release Her Sex Tape

Last week we found out that Ted Cruz has a female look-a-like in 21-year-0ld, Maury show guest, Searcy Hayes. This week, we found out that she’s been offered $10,000 to produce a sex tape with boyfriend and fellow Maury guest, Freddie Green. Aaaaaannd they accepted.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out why. Making a sex tape is one thing. But if you have any ounce of relevancy, your sex tape is automatically lucrative as fuck. Hayes is fresh off becoming a meme sensation and probably still has the check from Maury in her wallet. Regardless, her fame is so well saturated and niche at this point, she deserves to be cut a much bigger check. For those of you who are quick to tell me… $10,000 is a large sum of money, when Steve Harvey fucked up and named the wrong Miss Universe, Miss Colombia was offered $1 million for her porn deal.

Anyway, the two of them accepted the money. They’re likely in pre-production for their film and brainstorming how to make this the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Green is pumped as hell for one. He’s getting paid to do what he does already and it seems like Maury show did what it was supposed to do in fixing their relationship. Green’s ready for his fame now too:

It’s kind of exciting and shocking to know she’s famous — she’s more famous than Madonna! I’m with a star.

As for the money, they have some big fucking hopes for their future.

We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married. I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape.’

How do I get someone to pay me for a sex tape? I have a designer clothing addiction to maintain.

[H/T Death and Taxes]

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