Damn Johnny, Back at It Again With Them Party Fouls

Hey, remember Johnny Manziel? You might remember him as Johnny Football, the Texas A&M standout quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner, who everyone thought was really going places. But much like me disappointing all of my elementary school teachers, Johnny is pissing away his potential in the throes of his infatuation with drugs and alcohol. (Same.)

The football player, who last made headlines for allegedly being part of a hit-and-run, was dropped by his agent and his team all in one year all for the love of the party. Given ultimatums, threatened with termination and demoted from starting QB to bench warmer seems to have been a lot for our Johnny, so he took some time away to vacation in Los Angeles.

But like everything has gone for the cosmic shitshow that is Johnny Manziel, he got himself into a bit of trouble. On top of all the other drama in his life, he’s now been served with a demand for over $32,000 in damages following what neighbors alleged was a two-day long party. Real estate broker Nicholas Goodwin called the LAPD after learning that neighbor Kathy Griffin was upset by the disturbance. Goodwin found a still-drunk, still-passed out Manziel on the sofa of the $4.5 million home he was supposed to have vacated two hours earlier. Goodwin describes the scene to Page Six:

They were supposed to check out at noon. Manziel was passed out . . . There was cocaine all over the kitchen table, and mushrooms were still out on the table in front of him. There was booze everywhere . . . broken glasses over the floor and a Champagne glass in a tree. If they don’t respond to our demand for compensation, we will sue.

So that’s good news, at least. Unlike his career, Manziel has the wherewithal and funds to salvage his legal dignity. Coming from America’s finest big oil family and likely still deep in his NFL salary, he has no reason not to make this disappear. If he’s smart, he’ll pay the money and get on with his life. Though if he has a smart publicist, he’s about to avoid settlement, get hit with a lawsuit and it will be all for the sake of more clicks. The rich get richer.

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