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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook About How Easy It Is to Eat Like Her Shockingly Proves That It’s Not Easy or Cheap

A message to the people who will ghostwrite all of Gwyneth Paltrow’s future cookbooks. Stop trying to market her as some down to earth mom coupon clipping at Walmart. No one is buying it.

We all know GP has expensive tastes. From $168 beauty balms to casually dropping $50 on vagina steams and $200+ smoothies, she is richer than you. While her new cookbook It’s All Easy, has some shit in it that your average hamburger helper parent would have on hand, find me one sleep-deprived soccer mom that knows what the fuck a goji berry is, or cares.

While it includes shit like Chicken Enchiladas, Fried Egg Sandwiches, and Turkey Meatloaf, it also includes shit most of middle America can’t even get on a conceptual level. Pitaya Bowl? Kimchi “Fried Rice”? Migas?

Apparently though, if you stick to her book for every meal for a week, it will run you about $470 for the week, which is more than an entire month’s worth of rent if you live in a shack.  When you break that down, it’s $22 a meal, and you could actually go out for every meal for less than that.

That’s not easy. Go steam your vagina and stop playing like your some kind of peasant, Paltrow.

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