McDonalds’ Is Testing Out Endless French Fries Because Nothing You Knew Up To This Point Matters

Yeah, they could, but did they stop to ask if they should?

One of McDonald’s newest locations in St. Joseph, Missouri, is testing out unlimited french fries. We don’t know how much death via french fries will cost, but it’s fucking McDonald’s so probably not that much. People will be able to eat themselves to death faster than ever before.


That’s not the only way they are trying to make it into a future where everybody eats non GMO quinoa acai berry bowls hand assembled by a strapping man and nobody wants their chemical refinery paste burgers. McDonald’s is introducing automated burger kiosks so you can go fucking crazy with options. McDonald’s owner Chris Habiger told the St. Joseph News Press:

“There really are hundreds of different choices to build the burger of your dreams. Once you’ve placed your order, you can find your seat because we’ll bring it out to you.”

My dream burger is non-rubber, and comes with a side of fries that doesn’t turn to paste in 5 minutes. Can you hook me up, Chris?

McDonald’s is cheesin’ hard to keep people interested in their garbage, and I don’t know why. Soon weed will be legal nationwide, and stoned people will eat anything. You roll out those bottomless fries, though. You hear me, McDonald’s?

[Image: Flickr]

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