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The Kardashians Broke Up Jennifer Lawrence And Chris Martin

Aha! Jennifer Lawrence strikes again with the reliability. Remember that time Chris Martin dated Jennifer Lawrence and then broke up? All went quiet on their story, while the world buzzed with the fury of new Lawrence rumors to placate them. We were never given a reason why the cute couple determined themselves incompatible. That is, until now…

A source close to the couple divulges that the two cited irreconcilable differences resulting on opinions on the Kardashians. The source shares:

Jennifer was obsessed with the family, and tried to get Chris to watch the show with her. Chris absolutely balked at the idea, and couldn’t sit for five minutes of the show. The Kardashians are everything that is wrong with America, according to Chris.

Oh for fuck’s sake. Step down from your high horse, Chris.

Jennifer thought Chris was being snobby and elitist by trashing the Kardashians because he wouldn’t even give it a chance. [He] wasn’t going to stay in a relationship with someone that was obsessed with reality television. Reality television is just very low brow, and Chris wants nothing to do with it.

And you know, if I actually gave dating a try, I know I’d have these same differences. She wanted to share a piece of herself with you and you shot it down as quickly as you might a hideous tie picked out by your aunt that doesn’t really know you. There’s something for everyone in everything. The intellectual in me loves to analyze the hegemonic presence of America’s royal family. The voyeur in me just loves to watch beautiful people, wear beautiful clothes and do beautiful things. We all have this… to deny this is to deny your own humanity, Chris. Do you think you’re better than us?

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Chris Martin is in Cold Play -1 respect point
Dated GOOP on purpose -1 respect point
Thinks that the Kardashians and reality TV is trash + 10 respect points

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