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You Too Could Live Tweet Your Next Affair, Follow These Steps

Does a headline ever come across your desk and you have to stop to think, how the fuck hasn’t this happened to me yet? Well, that’s how I felt when I heard Mr. Brad Pitt Adopted Me’s story. Here we have one guy who found himself between a rock and a hard place when the girl he was sleeping with’s man came home. He tweeted his way out of that rock and that hard place like any person with a data connection and no one else to talk to would do.

Welcome to 2016, the year of moral relativism and we have no room to judge. We will judge, but we don’t have the room. Anyway, the chick’s boyfriend came home and somehow our guy was able to get to a closet in the nick of time.

Bruh’s testing his luck now. But that’s what the lucky do. They push it until the luck runs out.

As far as I’m concerned, this is a victory for side jawns everywhere. Fuck everything that precipitated this situation. It was only bred by being dumb as fuck. But we all got a story out of this.

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