ESC

Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio Vapes and Listens to MGMT During Sex

I choose to believe this is true because it is the single greatest mental image I have ever had in my entire miserable life.

From Star Magazine via Celebitchy:

Leonardo DiCaprio “is selfish, lazy and downright rude,” says a source whose BFF bedded the 41-year-old Oscar winner. “She told me that during the act, Leo put on headphones and even started vaping! Then he signaled her to keep going while he just laid back and zoned out.”

Don’t even give me that ‘an inside source means they just made it up for clicks’ bullshit.

Star Magazine is a print magazine. They don’t even get clicks. Go fuck yourself.

The woman was so confused by the situation that she just carried on, embarrassed and hoping for things to change. But Leo continues to lie there, listening to MGMT, while his “date” was left wondering what was in this for her.

Other than the greatest story of your entire life, you mean? What more could you possibly want in life than the knowledge that Leonardo DiCaprio vapes and listens to MGMT during sex like some kind of greasy useless dude in his mid-30’s pretending to be 25 with a bald spot and a man bun who tells the chicks he picks up on Tinder that he’s moving to Berlin? What more do you need?

“Leo knows women are mesmerized by his stardom, so he obviously doesn’t care at all whether they’re satisfied or not,” says another insider. “He can sleep with almost any woman he wants without even trying, so it’s no surprise he doesn’t try in bed either.”

That’s y’alls fault for going after his pug-faced Gatsby ass when Idris Elba is right there. You deserve this.

[H/T Celebitchy]

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AussieD

Annnnnd in the world’s least surprising news, a famous human being is allegedly completely self involved… because they can be.

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