ESC

European Clubbers Are Now Snorting Cocoa to Get High

Finally, a drug I can afford.

They know how to party in Europe. From teens playing sex roulette to people at clubs shoving their dessert up their nose to get fucked up, what a time they are having over there.

From The Independent:

Events such as “Lucid” at Alchemy & Eros in Berlin have allegedly made snorting chocolate a popular pastime, according to Ozy, which reports that parties on both sides of the Atlantic are taking raw chocolate or cocoa in drink, pill or powdered form.

All those suburban soccer moms on Atkins who shame eat Snickers in the bathroom and say they are “addicted to chocolate” are weak as fuck. These morons snorting Swiss Miss are where it’s at.

The “high vibe” medicine of raw cocoa supposedly floods users with endorphins as it enters the blood stream, while magnesium serves as a muscle relaxant.

I am not a scientist, but this seems real dumb to me. Like real dumb.

A study by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition says that cocoa also contains flavanols which improve blood circulation and cognitive function.

Snorting cocoa does not cause any hallucinogenic side effects, and it is possible that the actual perceived effects are a placebo.

Apparently, it’s not improving cognitive function that much if all these dumb sluts thinks inhaling Swiss Miss is gonna take them to pleasure town. I’m out.

[Image: Flickr]

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