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Winona Ryder Is Like Johnny Depp Never Hit Me, but I Don’t Know About That Other Bitch

It’s a shame that this conversation has taken the direction that is has. We have a lot of facts here. First, somehow Amber Heard ended up with a whole mess of bruises. Second, she’s saying Johnny Depp did it. We could be talking about systemic abuse, how the system fails victims of abuse and the widespread nature of abuse across all walks of life, but instead we’re wasting our time with bullshit character testimony in the media and a random volley of choosing sides.

Next up to the plate is ex-girlfriend, tattoo subject and favorite fetishized gothic subject of the 90s…. Winona Ryder. The couple dated for four years, Depp ended up with a tattoo of the everlasting love and then subsequently broke up in what has been my biggest celebrity heartbreak. Ryder chose her words carefully in an interview with Time magazine. She prefaced it with a reminder that the two had dated more than 20 years ago, but still their relationship was vastly different from what Amber Heard alleges hers was like.

I mean, he was never, never that way towards me. Never abusive at all towards me. I only know him as a really good, loving, caring guy who is very, very protective of the people that he loves. It’s hard because I feel like — that’s my experience. And it’s been a very long time.

Relationships fuck me up. My bias is here. My bias is known. I hear protective and I think possessive. I think… here’s a man beginning his cycle of abuse. But Ryder made sure it wouldn’t seem like she was defending Depp, an ex she just happens to be close friends with. She gave credence to any potential truth in Heard’s allegations.

I’m just saying, it’s difficult and upsetting for me to wrap my head around it. I just never heard [hahahah is this a sly dig? i’m the worst] anything like that about him. But, again, I feel like even saying that, I’m going to get death threats or something. I’m not on social media, so maybe I will be spared.

Doubt it…..

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I’d bang the beeteljuice out of her. For 40s, she looks fantastic.

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