Calvin Beat Taylor to the Punch: Here’s the First Post Breakup Song

If Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris were my friends, I would give some dumb half-hearted advice along the lines of please, just get on with your lives. But since I’m a voyeuristic celebrity whore, here I am begging for so much more. Taylor Swift may have found love in Tom Hiddleston and Calvin Harris may have had a sexual awakening, but, still, these two seem to be engaged in the most passive aggressive of feuds.

And the next move in the feud goes to Calvin. His new song with British singer-songwriter, John Newman debuts tomorrow, but we’ve been lucky enough to be graced with the lyrics already. And in the song we get some serious Taylor slights. Exhibit A, the song goes:

I see online that you begun to be a good girl and take trips with your boyfriend. Being attentive, continue to pretend.

Ow, ow, ow. Coming right at the brand! Exhibit B:

You’ve hidden my name in your phone so you can call me to tell me you’ve been going through hell. Left him alone and you booked in a hotel.

Mmmmmmmm, I smell a cheater. Exhibit C, and the most obvious:

Low key you won’t tell none of your friends about me.

Low key = Loki = Tom Hiddleston. Wow.

But then here comes Taylor Swift. She might be busy at work on her Kim Kardashian diss track in between Tom Hiddleston snuggles, but she cannot be beaten at her own game. Taytay sources enter:

If Calvin claims he wasn’t working on this before the Met Ball, he’s lying.

Calvin did not make an appearance at the Met Ball and Taylor was seen dancing all night with Mr. Loki, but really who the f**k ever knows what’s true and what’s not? This is just a really good story.

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