Emma Watson’s New Movie Made $70 Opening Weekend, Good Thing She Has Those Offshore Bank Accounts

Damn. The UK box office is brutal this year. It’s almost like nobody is seeing films only banking on famous names and nothing else anymore.

From The Guardian:

Emma Watson’s first lead role post-Harry Potter has seen the star’s new film, a thriller set in Pinochet-era Chile, take only £47 at the UK box office in its opening weekend.

Ha! I guess that’s a little less dough she’ll get to hide in that tax loophole account she shares with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

The film, which had a distribution plan built on home-streaming, was released on video on demand on Friday, the same day as a token release in three UK cinemas.

Sounds a lot more like their distribution plan was “no one will watch this anyway so who gives a f**k” than anything else. Is this movie any good though? Is it a forgotten gem starring the golden girl of bullshit white hegemonic feminism? Are we gonna be moved to tears by Hermione all grown up? Are you gonna look cool for knowing about this movie before your friends?

In a word: No.

The Colony, which had its world premiere at last year’s Toronto film festival, was given two stars by the Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw, who while highlighting its “exploitative dodginess [and] plot-holes the size of Saturn’s rings”, did credit the film-makers for focusing on a rarely told story. “This movie deserves some points for addressing a little-known dysfunctional horror in Chile’s Pinochet era,” he wrote in his review.

Oh, Emma Watson. Oh boy, oh boy.