Lindsay Lohan Is Pregnant and Smoking on a Yacht Which Makes Total Sense

Of course.

Lindsay Lohan just broke up with the Russian millionaire she was cougar-ing, and is handling it really well.

Besides being photographed looking sullen and smoking cigs on yachts, she’s also been sending her dad desperate texts about being pregnant.

Lindsay Lohan shows off rounded stomach after her father claims she 'is pregnant' https://t.co/KbpNDQwkNf pic.twitter.com/munxcyLID2

— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) July 29, 2016

Michael Lohan had a lot to say to Daily Mail about it.

‘It’s going to be up to her what she decides to do.’

Is she gonna raise it Muslim even though she’s never read the Koran but thinks she’s Muslim? Is she gonna take it binge drinking with her? How many chapters will this kid take up in her memoir? I have a lot of questions.

‘It’s troubling. It’s troubling that she is pregnant.’

No s**t. At least there’s a chance that it’s some kinda thing she just said mid crack pipe hit on her luxury yacht and it’s not even real.

Good luck, hypothetical baby Lohan.