Taylor and Tom Are Faking It! #FACTS

Taylor Swift has a new man. We can’t stop talking about it. I’ve hypothesized since the beginning that ‘Hiddleswift’ is a larger than life publicity stunt, but thanks to E! News‘ Holly Passalaqua, I finally have some significant evidence to support my paranoia. Love is dead. Here are them facts:

1. Passalaqua does an exceptionally good job at pointing out that all the paps photos of Hiddleswift have come from one agency. That screams paps-for-hire.
2. They seem to be only going to the most public of places. They’re looking for paps.
3. Taylor looks a little too posed in every pic. She wore heels to the Colosseum!
4. Taylor has been the one flying them all over the world. Sure, she’s loaded but it could be a very tidy agreement between the two.
5. Tom needs an Emmys date this year for his part in The Night Manager.

But by far the most compelling evidence is the making of an album.

Taylor drops an album every two years, in the fall. We are coming up on the two-year anniversary of the release of 1989. Taylor’s first single off of this phantom new album would come out around August/September-ish, given previous single releases (i.e. “Shake It Off”).

Let’s fucking go. I love the press machine. I’m enthralled. It feels better knowing that it’s probably fake than it does to think it’s probably real.