Taylor’s Girl Squad Is Ready to Solidify Her Takedown

What happens when you water down feminism to monetize it for your own branding purposes? What happens when you force a bunch of free-thinking women into a room yet only acknowledge them as worthy for their participation in another woman’s image? Friction. But it’s all about Taylor Swift so let’s get this show on the road. My, how embarrassing it must to be to have your entire image become cloaked in caveats, mishaps and D.R.A.M.A.

Anyway, Taylor has had an eventful week. On Sunday, Kim Kardashian took it upon herself to expose ‘that bitch’ and did you notice how much it did to slow down all the Hiddleswift press? Even if you’re still optimistic enough to believe that Kim had other options of being the bigger person, you have to feel blessed that this s**t has finally stopped flowing.

To add to all the bad press Taylor Swift is getting at the hands of no one except herself, let’s make this story into a tell-all. Let’s stretch this motherfucker out. Let’s hear from Joe Jonas. From Taylor Lautner. From Calvin Harris. From Katy Perry. From the entire girl squad. Anyone who has been told they don’t matter just because Taylor’s voice is the loudest. While I don’t yet have the deets on what all her exes have to say about her, I think I’m off to a good start with the girl squad whispers. Let’s get petty. Us Weekly reports:

Some in her squad are talking about how relieved they are that the real Taylor is being exposed. They all have so much more dirt on her and want to reveal Taylor for who they believe she really is: a vindictive, manipulative person who runs over anyone who dares to challenge her.

First up to bat is BFF, Selena Gomez. They went to the Met Gala together. Taylor parades Selena around like a pair of Louboutins that’ll never go out of style. You wear them when you’re feeling sad to remind you that there are beautiful things left in the world, but you don’t wear them to a party worth impressing people because everyone already knows what a good pair of Louboutins looks like. So when the sadness has been quelled by a new pair of custom Alaia lace up thigh highs (enter Tom Hiddleston), the Louboutins don’t seem as fresh. That’s Selena. She fell for the good girl act too, we can’t blame her, but she:

recently found out some pretty horrible stuff Taylor has said about her, including about her weight and choice of boyfriends. Now some of the girls have started revealing what they’ve been hiding about Taylor.

But wait there is so much more. She’s pissed on some influential chicks.

Kendall Jenner hasn’t done anything mean to Taylor but she got kicked out of the squad solely because she’s related to Kim and Kanye. And Taylor wants Gigi Hadid to join her in kicking Kendall to the curb. Taylor laughs about it like it’s no big deal to meddle in people’s lives.

Remember when Taylor buried Katy over nothing?

Katy is loving all the drama. She thinks this is the perfect revenge.

And Selena is the first one to do the talking, albeit privately.

Demi learned from Selena that while Taylor pretended to be there for her when she was going through her struggles, she was calling Demi an awful singer and insulting her intelligence. Demi has been holding on to a lot of secrets about Taylor and now she feels like it’s time to leak them.

Yep, Demi Lovato was another victim of Taylor’s branding. It’s vacuous. It’s all for the sake of the image. And the girls are going to rally because quite frankly, burying a sinking ship is the better business model for these women looking to get a piece of everything Kim Kardashian has got going on. The woman is a genius. It’s her world. We’re just living in it. Already Taylor’s good girl image is dead and buried. There’s nothing left for it out there. She doesn’t know what to do. Her girl squad is taking lead from here on out:

Some of the girls call her Ursula, after The Little Mermaid’s manipulative sea witch, because she’s so controlling.

I LOVE IT. Roll your sleeves up. Ash your knees. Get in there, girls.

But what does Lena Dunham really think?

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5 years ago

This is total BS

5 years ago
Reply to  flying777

No it isn’t. TS is a laser focused, image at all costs phony. She collects friends, she doesn’t really have any. Not really. Her squad are just opportunists like her and they have relationships of convenience. See that 4th of July photoshoot. All business and totally fake.

She is printing money, so more power to her, but she is hardly authentic. So it is time to pull back the curtain on her phoniness.

5 years ago

The writing on this site makes Celebitchy read like Nabokov.

“burying a sinking ship” is a mixed metaphor.

Say what you want about Taylor Swift, but she sold out a record five nights at the Staples Center, less than a year ago.

Isadora Teich
Isadora Teich
5 years ago

This is no doubt total bull. I love seeing the vindictive ugly chicks who write for this site take shots at people they’ll NEVER be even 10 feet from. F**k your feminism

Lindsey Walsh
Lindsey Walsh
5 years ago

LMAO I never liked Taylor. I had her pegged from the beginning. I hope at some point her “squad” (it physically hurts to see that word) pay for a timeslot on NBC or something and roast the s**t out of her. I love seeing all her stans run out and try to defend her.

5 years ago

Half of this article was written by an unmedicated schizophrenic.

Perry de Havilland
4 years ago

Watering down feminism is a bit like watering down fascism: something to be welcomed but it is just the first step on the road back to sanity.

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