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The First Look at ‘Justice League’ Isn’t the Worst Look We Could Have Gotten

Zack Snyder keeps making movies despite the universe’s best efforts to tell him they’re awful. He broods in his dark room wearing the same shirt he bought at Hot Topic at 14, plucking away at his next project, whispering this one will be the one as he scrolls through his Twitter mentions.

But maybe, just maybe. This one will be the one. Justice League premiered its first trailer at San Diego’s Comic Con over the weekend and to be honest, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Birth Movies Death surmises quite succinctly the vibes we get from this initial preview:

The footage opens in a dingy room in a cold fishing town. Bruce Wayne, with a beard, stands in the middle of a group of bundled up seafaring types.

We’re dark. We’re brooding. Try as we might to escape, we are still in Hot Topic.

Cue: Arthur Curry turning around, glaring.

Aquaman! That’s a dude I can get behind! That’s a dude that hasn’t really been ruined by cinema just yet.

We see Curry walking, chugging whiskey and smashing the bottle. We see an incredible shot of Curry standing on a rock, massive white waves crashing around him and obscuring him. Wayne asks Curry for help. Curry picks him up by the neck and slams him into the wall.

Ugh, Batman. Don’t you wish you had more than money right now?! If Aquaman isn’t doing it for you, let our introduction to this Wonder Woman be enough. Here’s a serious female presence. Here is someone we need. And as Devin writes:

They could just be pulling this off.

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Isadora Teich
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Isadora Teich

I guess you would rather see spike Lee make a bunch of these superhero movies? Maybe make batman an activist for the LGBT community who decided to lop his dick off to show joker he’s a serious helping the trans movement. Then batman can create a shitty blog and name it after what causes him to hate life and all the people that don’t want Mexicans raping every 8 year old they see… Pock marks or blemish

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