According to Poll 5% of Americans Would Vote Harambe the Dead Ape for President

And they say voting for a third party is throwing your vote away.

According to a brand new national survey from Public Policy Polling, the American public has given up even harder than ever before. When faced with choosing between Ginger Hitler and 10,000 Lizards In A Pants Suit for president, 5% of the American public has impressively managed to find an even worse choice somehow: fucking Harambe.

Yeah, remember that ape that got killed by the Cincinnati Zoo after it got caught dragging a four year old child around? The internet cared about it for a hot second. That’s who 5% of America thinks should be president.

In fact, according to the poll, when Harambe isn’t included on the poll, the number of undecided voters is higher. What the f**k is wrong with y’all?

While the poll shows that pretty much everyone hates Trump except white supremacists and hicks, it also reveals that 18% of America thinks Hillary Clinton has ties to Lucifer, and over 20% aren’t sure.

Again, what the f**k is wrong with y’all?

Check out the full poll here.

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7 years ago