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Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp Domestic Violence Case Settled, Even Though Depp Apparently Cut the Tip of His Finger Off in a Rage

TMZ reports that Amber Heard has dismissed her domestic violence restraining order petition against Johnny Depp. The case has settled and she dismissed it with prejudice, meaning it will never be reopened.

My question, how much did he pay her off to forget how crazy he allegedly is?

He paid her $7 million to walk away. Apparently, that’s how much he paid her.

The joint statement they released is incredibly interesting.

“Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love…”

There’s volatile and then there’s making another person fear for their life. This ain’t a Lana Del Rey song, kids.

“Neither party has made false accusations for financial gains.”

Ok, but that doesn’t cover people lying for other reasons. Of which their could be many. Honestly, when a chick says a dude hit her I’m inclined to believe her, because men do that shit all the fucking time.

“There was never an intent of physical or emotional harm.”

Considering we have actual pictures from that time Depp cut off the tip of his finger and used it to write the name of the dude she was supposedly cheating on him with in blood and paint on a wall, I’m gonna say nah.

“Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity.”

I’m guessing the charity will be her personal Louboutin shoe fund. She earned those shoes dealing with his crazy ass. Goddamn.

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