Rihanna Is Just Against PDA, Guys

For my sake, Drake and Rihanna have to be dating.

Rihanna is avenging all the guys who kept their ladies secret. This is a story we get to start in the middle because if you’re an actual person with internet access, you already have your fundamental knowledge of last night’s incident. Rihanna is our anti-fuckboy hero. She is out fuckboying the entire fucking game. I want to believe that Drake’s latest Instagram proves these two moguls are doing the dating thing.

Drake knows just what to say but I can hear Rihanna exhaling blunt smoke and seductively whispering, shut up, Aubrey through a coy smile.

But back to the VMAs. Last night, Drake put his entire heart on the line when presenting rumored-gf, Rihanna with her Vanguard Award.

And when the Too Good rapper went to kiss his leading lady, she curved that motherfucker for fear of messing up her lipstick.

And then the two skipped off stage to undying expensive romance.

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