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Ariana Grande’s New Song Is Literally About the Soreness After Too Much Sex

Arianna Grande is de-Disneyfying and I’m here for it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take the suggestive video below as evidence.

Arianna is the famous incarnation of the cheerleader at the top of the pyramid. She’s cuter than I was the day I was born and she probably weighs less. She’s the spinning instructor with the same high-pitched voice and inflection as your pre-K teacher. You’re aroused by her, but until now, she hasn’t really given any inclination whether her overt sexuality is a intentional or just an innocent hot girl not knowing what to do with her body.

But when her and Nicki get together on Ariana’s new song, there is no question what the song, Side To Sidereally means. I mean the lyrics literally are:

And boy, got me walkin’ side to side.

If that wasn’t enough, Ariana decided to truly make it clear on the VMA Red Carpet:

That whole song is kind of about, you know, soreness — riding leading to soreness. Ride dick bicycle’ is the lyric, indeed.

Then Nicki chimed in.

I’m going to assume the writers had Mac Miller and Meek Mill in mind when writing these lyrics. It’s important to me to have that assumption confirmed.

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Isadora Teich

2 gross ass skanks that no man wants to catch hiv from

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