Trump Behaves Politely and Appropriately to Gorgeous Woman, J/K He Groped Her

Donald Trump you are a busy man with busy hands.

A 12th woman has come forward to accuse Donald Trump of groping. Certainly she will be 12 of 1 million by the time the election is over.

Ninni Laaksonen, former Miss Finland, claims that Trump grabbed her ass while they were both appearing on the David Letterman Show 10 years ago. According to the beauty queen, as they were posing for a picture “He really grabbed my butt. I don’t think anybody saw it, but I flinched and thought, What is happening?”

Later, Ninni was told Trump was into her because she looked like Melania. Ninni found this gross because she is a human woman.

Trump insists all the women’s stories are lies and that he’ll sue his accusers. The only thing Trump loves more than groping is suing, so he very well may.

For now, I’ll start writing the next story of Trump sexual harassment since there’s bound to be another one of these accusations at any moment. He’s like a bizarro world version of the quote from It’s a Wonderful Life. “Every time he sees a beauty queen/He has to touch inside her jeans.”

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7 years ago

Hey dumbass, Read the leaked e-mails. This plan and several of the fake allegations were planned well in advance regardless of who won the Republican nomination. The real shame is many a man is going to go free because with all these false charges, a jury will be very hard to convince that a any man anywhere did anything without video proof.