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Demi Moore Uses Goat Blood to Keep Young, Whether the Goats are Virgins is Unknown

Demi Moore has definitely not gone insane in her quest to stay as hot as possible until she becomes a hot corpse.

Moore has had more than a few moments of odd behavior in the past few years. She admitted she used leeches for a beauty treatment, was rumored to have a drug and anorexia problem, and had a full blown freak out after Ashton fucked every girl in town. Fortunately, Moore has overcome all of that and moved on to pouring blood on her skin.

According to the National Inquirer, Demi’s been trying this new Peruvian treatment. A friend of Moore’s said, “Demi was told by a doctor during her recent Peruvian trip that there was a rare mountain goat whose blood was a 100 percent guarantee for eliminating wrinkles and keeping one’s body 30 years younger looking,”

Okay, sure. Let’s believe that’s not something from a villain queen in a fairy tale. But this treatment must be dirt cheap, there’s goats everywhere! Well, no. The blood costs $100,000 a milliliter! If you don’t know the metric system, that’s approximately $100,000 for fucking nothing.

Demi is pleased with her new blood soaked appearance. She says its better than surgery and she’s never felt better. Hopefully she doesn’t get a taste for virgin hearts soon cause she’ll pay top dollar to look 1-2 months younger.

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