In Florida Even the Squirrels Attack

Why can’t Florida chill for, like, a second?

Between sharks, gators, hurricanes, and tweakers, America’s most penis shaped state was already a terrifying hell. Now on top of all that shit, they have squirrels stalking senior centers for slow and stringy prey.

The 911 call involved some seriously wild shit, for coming into contact with squirrels.

“I don’t know if we need an ambulance, but we need some care for people here… The people are bleeding.”

What the fuck, Florida? What the fuck?

Check out the full audio of the totally nuts 911 call below.

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