In Florida Even the Squirrels Attack

Why can’t Florida chill for, like, a second?

Between sharks, gators, hurricanes, and tweakers, America’s most penis shaped state was already a terrifying hell. Now on top of all that s**t, they have squirrels stalking senior centers for slow and stringy prey.

The 911 call involved some seriously wild s**t, for coming into contact with squirrels.

“I don’t know if we need an ambulance, but we need some care for people here… The people are bleeding.”

What the f**k, Florida? What the f**k?

Check out the full audio of the totally nuts 911 call below.

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