Brad Pitt is having a bad time. In the midst of a brutal divorce with Angelina Jolie, who has been doing some Lara Croft level character assassination on the allegedly drunk and violent Pitt, his midlife crisis is going all in.
It looks like he’s even gotten some kind of facelift to stick it to Jolie, who’s tryna hold their kids hostage. Sources told Radar that he’s going full Joan Rivers with any cosmetic surgery process he can find to try and feel better and younger in the face of his divorce. We’re talking fillers, botox, the blood of young girls, everything.
“He feels like death inside, but he’ll be damned if he’ll look like anything but a million bucks on the outside!”
That’s the saddest shit I’ve ever heard. Looking like Kris Jenner isn’t gonna fix the fact that Angelina Jolie is terrifying or that his last movie flopped like a bloodhound on a porch in Georgia.