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GoFundMe Set Up to Save Betty White from 2016, But Really to Raise Money for a Local Theater

2016 is a death hungry bitch who’s taken too many good people away. After George Michael and Carrie Fisher both died right around Christmas, people began to fear for the last living Golden Girl, Betty White.

At 94, White has already survived a lot, but people are worried that 2016 cares not for her will to live.

After Twitter was flooded with requests to keep Betty White safe, a clever man started a GoFundMe page to “Help Protect Betty White from 2016.”

Demetrio Hrysikos states on the page:

“Help 2016 catch these hands if it goes anywhere near Betty White! If she’s okay with it I will fly to where ever Betty White is and keep her safe till Jan 1 , 2017. Now, assuming she doesn’t want a strange Greek standing gaurd outside her door all monies will be donated to the Spartanburg little theater to help craft new stars of stage and screen to carry mantle of the legends that have left is this year.”

First, the fact that this helper will go to “wherever Betty White is” sounds slightly less than lifesaving. Two, this is all just a stupid cash grab for his community theater!

Listen, I’m a dumbass theater geek, but think it’s a little tasteless and mostly stupid to get people to give you money by using the name of a beloved elderly celebrity. Thus far, he’s earned over $3200 for “Betty White,” i.e. their upcoming productions of Spamalot.

Oh, and as a veteran of community theater, I can guarantee no stars of the stage or screen will be emerging from South Carolina’s amateur playhouse.

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