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Charlotte McKinney Is Single AF

If you want to pretend for a minute that you have a shot at dating Charlotte McKinney, follow me on an ultimately unsatisfying journey of whimsical fantasy.

In a recent E! interview, she went on mad hard about being single, y’all. How hard are we talking? Well…

“I am so, so single right now,” she said. “It’s so funny. I’m like, even in hair and makeup, I’m like, ‘I am so single, it’s crazy.’ Usually I have some little things here and there.”

Somebody wants to get laid. What kind of universe are we living in that Charlotte McKinney is having the same amount of sex that I am? I look like a ball of uncooked dough with two squinty eyes jammed in it. I don’t understand.

Fucking McChicken sandwiches are getting more action than her right now.

“Starting this year off, I’ve been really focused on work,” she added. “But I’m really out there. I’m open, I’m here!”

She’s open, y’all.

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Jacob June

Give it a month before she lands an athlete, actor, or someone super rich. This “single” sham always ends up the same way.

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