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Mike Tyson Is Training Chris Brown for a Fight Against Soulja Boy

In case you haven’t heard, Chris Brown and Soulja Boy are scheduled to fight each other. Mike Tyson is training Chris Brown, write your own domestic violence jokes, while Floyd Mayweather is training Soulja Boy.

Tyson has already revealed his game plan from Brown.

“I’m training Chris, he chose me as his trainer to take on Soulja Boy. And Soulja Boy, what the fuck you talking about? I’m gonna teach him how to bite somebody’s ear. Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna teach him every dirty trick in the book to knock you out. I’m not going to teach him how to run.”

I’m 99% certain that this fight won’t happen, but I really hope I’m wrong and that this gets the full HBO treatment. I want weekly 24/7 specials, press conferences, weigh-ins, everything. This whole thing is absurd, so go all out with it and make it worth our time.

Tyson’s promise to “teach him every dirty trick in the book” is a good tactic, but it’s not like Mayweather doesn’t know those same tricks. Not only does Floyd know the same tricks, but he’s also a better fighter than Tyson.

At least we can all agree that if the fight does happen, we’re all rooting for Soulja Boy, right?