Scarlett Johansson Is Divorced and Not Ready to Date Again

Scarlett Johansson is freshly divorced, her two-year marriage to French journalist Surrender Le Baguette (come on like you even care) ending on bad terms. Shockingly, she’s not feeling like getting back on that shitty horse again.

During an appearance on Howard Stern‘s Sirius XM radio show, he tried to play matchmaker with a list of other celebs, and she was not down.

“I’m on guard because I have a young daughter. That’s something I’m more concerned about.”

Good for her. Her 2-year-old daughter will thank her when she’s older for not having a revolving door of fuckbuddies.

Stern’s list included Orlando Bloom (possible), John Stamos (naybe possible), David Spade (probably the first funny thing Howard Stern has said since like ’98), and Louis C.K. (not happening).

Scarlett even confirmed that Louis C.K. is not happening.

“A lot of comedians I know have a dark side, though. I don’t need any darkness. I think I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but I’ll let you know.”

Yeah, I heard they are going to remake every anime but have all of the characters be played by Scarlett Johansson.

I’m sure she’s busy.

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