Ultimate Bro John Mayer Crashed a Sorority Event

John Mayer, famous bro known for preferring jerking it to porn than to real sex, and being one of the many banes of Taylor Swift’s tortured existence, crashed Chapman University’s sorority charity gala for heart health in Orange County, California with Bob Weir.

And the girls, like, couldn’t even.

Like, totally couldn’t even.

JOHN MAYER was at my sorority's philanthropy event WHAAATTTT (we made eye contact i'm dying) pic.twitter.com/7MFr5bdvcj

— kaylee sheldon (@kaylee_sheldon_) March 5, 2017

Like really totally couldn’t even, for serious.

Ok, you get it. They want his bubblegum kisses, or whatever.

When John Mayer shows up to your sorority's charity event….😍😍😍😅😱 #JustChapmanThings pic.twitter.com/gkh6958w80

— lauren belzer. ⋒ (@lobelzzz) March 5, 2017

So, what was he doing there? And was it sexual?

Nah, he was guest of Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, whose daughter, Monet Weir, is a sister in Alpha Pi.

Phugghhhh.